The weird thing about having been in Missoula was how I didn’t along with the local “trans” community. Because, unlike most of them, I finished my sex change—changed my name, I “pass”, underwent major surgeries, have all my legal documents reflecting my sex change. Because I consider myself a man without putting a lot of emphasis on my sex change. Because I wasn’t as “progressive” as the rest of them.
When cissexuals treat you as a member of the opposite sex and treat you accordingly, the transgender community will hate you. Because they want what we transsexuals have, but they don’t want to put in any of the work.
There are several major differences between being a transsexual, and being transgender. If sex and gender are supposedly different, than our two kinds are fundamentally different.
Being “transgender” is based on a bunch of ideologies and “social theories”. That gender is “between the ears”, and sex is “between the legs”. That gender is a “social construct”. Transgenders want all the benefits of being legally and socially realized of “another gender”, their “gender identity“. They want to go by a “preferred name” that they will make a thousand excuses as to why they won’t register it with the government, yet demand institutions like banks, schools, and employment use it. They will often engage in cross-dressing or gender fuckery, but will yell at others if their “preferred pronouns” are not properly used, because the other person “misgendered” them. “Transfeminine” transgenders will especially demand access to women’s-only spaces, from bathrooms to women’s-only colleges, yet won’t undergo a sex change.
“Genderqueers”/”non-binaries” are an especially asinine subgroup of the transgender umbrella. They demand society undergo a complete revolution that disregards sex-specific spaces, rituals, and routines to accommodate their tiny but vocal minority, even getting ballsy enough to try to compare their “plight” to those who are disabled. They demand society accommodate their “neopronouns“, like “zir/zem” and “fae”. They demand that besides asking for one’s name, we now also ask for one’s “gender identity” when first meeting someone, and get easily aggitated when someone makes the “microaggressive” mistake of “misgendering” them. “Transfeminine” and “transmasculine” are used because “feminine” and “masculine” seem to reinforce stereotypes (which is hilarious, because I find non-trans people not really give a damn these days, unlike the argument this cult tries to narrate). They demand all the earned benefits transsexuals worked for, without wanting to put any of the time, cost, or effort it takes to undergo a sex change. If you don’t want to date them because of your genital preference, you’re labeled “tranphobic”—shit, if you have any questions or reservations about them at all they label you as a bigot, and shut down any and all conversations.
The worst part is, they insist on calling themselves and limiting their existence to something “trans”, keeping themselves locked up as a third- or alt-gender category, and demand transsexuals, who wish to live as members of the opposite sex they were born as, to do the same, to keep a wedge between us and our cissexual brothers and sisters.
Being “transgender” is so watered down anymore, that people now have to spend an hour explaining things. And don’t even get me started on the bullshit some people pull, calling themselves “gender-fluid”, where they identify as male one moment, and as a woman when it becomes convenient; or the bullshit that’s called “xenogender“.
Being transsexual is simple; you’re born as one sex, but wish to live as a member of the other. I was born female, but now I live as a man. I sought therapy, take HRT, underwent sex change operations, legally changed my name, updated my legal documents. No ideology. No bullshit. No wasting people’s time explaining what this and that is according to “queer theory”. When I tell people I am transsexual, they know exactly what I mean, because it’s a concise term and definition.
There are some caveats, yes. My body is still feminine; I will still need to see a gynecologist for mammograms and vaginal health as I grow older. I still need to squat on the toilet to piss or shit—but I easily blend in given how many cissexual men do as well. Sex will resemble that of two lesbians. It’s hard to date as a transsexual man who won’t date a transsexual woman unless she completed bottom surgery, because I want sex with a girlfriend who has a vagina, not a penis; and I refuse to date women who insist on keeping a “lesbian” label (this does not include bisexuals), because they value their label at the expense of their partner’s. Transsexual women will still need prostate exams as they age; they can still be at risk for testicular cancer even post-surgery; they will still need to go to andrologist for male-specific health issues, as much as it may worsen their dysphoria.
I am a transsexual because my body changed, not my sense of self. This mind-body disconnect is what caused my gender dysphoria (which you need to be “trans”, otherwise, you’re just a confused snowflake). Since I was a young girl, I always wanted to be a boy. I wasn’t “trans” when I was younger, and I refuse to change my history and narration to reflect the wording an ideology wants to promote—and it’s not my job to rephrase my story to suit a cult’s ideology, to represent something I am not a part of, or anything like.
I agree health insurances, Medicaid, and Medicare should be required to cover sex change therapy, but it has to be accompanied with the “old-school” way of doing things: seeing a therapist, doing the RLE, taking hormones, undergoing surgery. That you need to undergo all of that to get your name and sex changes recognized. While undergoing the RLE, carrying paperwork from your therapist, surgeon, or primary explaining you are transsexual and trying to experience life as a member of the opposite sex, just like anyone else who has a medical issue that could potentially need special accomodation; and if you don’t have that paperwork on you, the establishment has every right to deny you access to the bathroom, locker room, etc. otherwise.
If you’re a transgender and refuse to do anything to actually transition, it is quite a simple answer: if you were born female, you’re only entitled to women’s spaces and playing women’s sports. If you were born male, this especially applies to you that you can only access men’s spaces, play men’s sports, can’t attend women’s colleges, or access anything else made or done specifically for women.
The difference between being transsexual and transgender? Transsexuals celebrate being men and women, who just happen to be transsexual; while transgenders celebrate being “trans”. We are happy to merely be members of the opposite sex, and just want to live somewhat normal, unassuming lives; while transgenders want to shove their third-gender status down everyone’s throat.
If you want the earned benefits of being transsexual, you have to work for it. But just like most things, this cult (mostly young people) expects everything to be handed to them.