A common discourse I hear from conservatives about Pride is, why do we take pleasure if not just “carnal sin”, but the sin of “pride”?
Pride has two definitions:
- Pride as in hubris, “the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s own importance”.
- Pride as in self-acceptance, as opposed to self-loathing.
And the right tends to conflate the two.
What is Pride to me? It means having no shame in who I am, no shame in my journey as I transitioned from an identity others tried to classify me as, to becoming a man.
Yes, there were steps along the way I feel embarrassed about, like being a transmedicalist. Thinking asexuals aren’t members of the LGBTQ+ community, because they didn’t have to face the issues those attracted to the same gender/sex often dealt with. Thinking that the trans community should separate itself from LGBs, because gender identity and sexual orientation were so different that our goals were so ultimately different we shouldn’t consider ourselves one big community. Thinking agender wasn’t the same as being “trans” (one reason why it took me so long to begin transitioning), thinking transgender was for binary individuals, while “nonbinary” was a separate concept. That I needed whatever woman I dated had to have a vagina, whether congenital or constructed.
I still don’t have a penis, and doubt I can ever get one. Does that make me any less trans, or any less of a man? Fuck, no. And, you’d think with a botched bottom surgery, my views on everything would evolve. It would take a phone call years later to change that.
While others may carry the burden of shame of feeling so much hate, I shed that weight and only carry with me instead the lessons from my bigotry. I broke down the walls of hate with bridges of love and acceptance. Rather than weigh myself down with regret, I focus on self-improvement and helping others lighten their loads.
I don’t wear my pride on my sleeve; you may not even have known I was a trans man till I told you. I don’t sport a trans or pride flag in my room; no pride or flag gear or accessories; even my blog at the time this post goes live barely shows the colors of the trans community.
I don’t live in stealth in the traditional sense, but rather until I disclose things I would rather you know me as a person rather than focus on that trans aspect I’m too often reduced to. Living in a small town, conservative area also forces me to tone things down IRL, but a thriving online community allows me to alleviate some of that occasional sense of isolation.
There is no sin in self-acceptance.