Not only does the number of letters for the LGBTQ+ group continue to grow, so does what the Pride flag includes continue to expand. And this is complicating the constant infighting.
Sometimes I think LGB issues and trans issues shouldn’t intertwine. The fight for marriage equality is not the same thing as access to HRT and SRS. Transsexual people general want to undergo a sex change, so we can blend in and live as members of the opposite sex; LGBs generally want their relationships legally recognized by the government, so they can have the same rights as straight couples. Drag and cross-dressing are not the same thing as transitioning.
I also argue that being transsexual is different from being transgender and non-binary. Transsexual should have their identities validated legally and socially, because of the lengths we go through to “heal” our bodies, change our names legally, update our gender markers, resocialize. Transgender and non-binary individuals usually didn’t want to undergo gender affirmative treatments, don’t want to pay to change their names and correct their legal documents, don’t want to resocialize at least update their wardrobes to try to fit in with the gender identity they associated with; so why they should have the same benefits I worked for?
I dodn’t know if there is any difference between being bi, poly, pan beyond semantics, but as I’m straight, that is not a fight I want to get into.
“Genital preference” is not transphobic, rather I think it’s homophobic, because most lesbians know they prefer vaginas over dicks, and gay men want dick. I am willing to accept that there will be women who won’t date me for my vagina, as much as I don’t want to date a “pre-op” trans woman who still has her dick.
While many intersex individuals do identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community, others do not. There’s also argument between the intersex and trans communities over trans appropriation of acronyms like AFAB (“assigned female at birth”) and AMAB (“assigned male at birth”)—transgenders can argue over those terms all they want, but transsexuals are either FtM or MtF.
I am not intersex, so I can’t speak for the community. However, I don’t like how transgenders now say being trans is a form of being intersex. The argument using the brain theory, a “woman’s brain inside a man’s body” narrative, perhaps the most extreme version of being intersex, is perhaps cultural appropriation at its worst.
As with all the groups within our community who want all kinds of flags? Are so many people within the LGBTQ community so fragile that they need something ”unique” to identify each and every little thing about them? Those of us who number more (the LGB for sure, as well as those of us who are transsexual and transgender) can easily argue away that those within the community whose numbers are nowhere as big should “stop arguing semantics” and “concentrate on more important things”, like our continued fight to make sure the rights we have won in recent years remain, against the increasing number of bills targeting trans youth, to stop underhanded tactics to cover up continued discrimination against our community.
Which reminds me—sex-negative asexuals need to realize LGBs need their safe spaces, parades, and events to freely express their sexuality, because they’re the ones who are persecuted, not asexuals
LGBT. LGBTQ. LGBTQIA. The additional (+) and asterisk (*) signs, should it be added or not? How many letters must we add to the ever growing “alphabet soup”? Should we use alternative terms and acronyms to be more inclusive? Or should we just generally call ourselves “queer”? (Here’s one I came across a long time, and you can actually pronounce it like a word: QUILTBAG.)
As a lingual descriptivist, I think language and labels matter—to a point. If we have a word to describe ourselves, it validates our existence. To come up with a word for every little subset or variance would distract our communities from more important topics; but at the same, as conservatives still try to label LGBs as “homosexual”, they try to reduce us to our sex acts, and try to deny that who we’re attracted to has a romantic and emotional component. By calling transsexuals “mentally ill cross-dressers”, they try to deny us life saving access to sex-reassignment treatments.
Kink is often shown and represented at Pride. My feelings? I have my fetishes and kinks, but those are choices, not necessarily integral aspects to who I am or who I’m attracted to. Better kept to the bedroom
If you’re attracted to more than one gender (bi, pan, poly, omni, etc) but otherwise in a relationship with someone born of a different gender from you, you’re still included at Pride events. People have perhaps tried to shame you at some point, so you should be included so you can show that it’s about love.
If you claim to be “ex-gay” or “ex-trans”, go on and live your life however you want. Just don’t tell those of us who choose to accept our sexualities and gender identities, rather than “convert”/”revert” them, that we shouldn’t be allowed the same rights as our cishet siblings.
I had a hard early adulthood that has left me behind others around my age from achieving certain milestones. I’m making up sorely for lost time, wisdom, and experience. Last thing I need to do is get involved with pedantry and trivialities. Even if I still have reservations about something, I’m about building bridges, not walls.