[I] understand that the world is a harsh place for a masculine-of-center person, but it isn’t without certain privileges, and those you fail to acknowledge. [H]as it crossed your mind[,] that there are those who would love to experience infrequent, internet-only harassment[,] as opposed to the daily physical and verbal affronts suffered by many femmes [I] know?
Kade is fucking pathetic, as she presents herself as a genderqueer who always pictures herself as a frequent victim of both sexism and homophobia. Yes, we suffer (often much of the same discrimination as “effeminate” gays) because we break gender stereotypes, sexual norms, don’t “submit” to men, and other established traditions. Rather than bitch and complain, or go misandrically feminist and over-analyze, embrace what you are, and fight back. While transmen have the male-privilege over us, we still have a number of privileges over femmes!
I don’t see myself as a victim. Several friends and co-workers have voiced how they envy that I don’t need to or put up with a number of issues most women do, and think I have positive self-image:
- I dress for myself, and not to attract female attention. I dress in men’s fashion as the occasion dictates: suits for formal occasions; jeans and tee for my off time. I dress with what fits my body: I am stout, have broad shoulders, flat chest, no curves, and show off a strong jaw. People often tell me I pull off the male wardrobe nicely.
- Most women wish they had the guts to pull off shaving it short. Yes, it’s easier to maintain. However, you have to buzz it no less often than every 3-4 weeks to maintain it, especially if your hair is thick and grows fast, like mine. (Yes, I do my hair, too.)
- I’m low maintenance: no makeup, no hair coloring or upkeep, no jewelry or accessories with my clothes (other than my crucifix, that I keep under my shirt), no satchel (sans the occasional need to tow the computer pack).
- Love is only a chapter of my life, not what I constantly think about. I am happy being single (though from time to time I still daydream—hey, I’m still human!)
- Men don’t objectify me and can relate to me. (Or if they go homophobic or sexist on me I am able to confront and handle them because of my large frame, powerful muscles, and my weight.)
Yes, their notes reek of stereotypes, and sometimes it hurts. I would rather put up with my issues of homophobia than live up to some impossible standard the media has for femmes.
Women I know, both femmes and straights, have to put up with a lot of shit simply because they are women. Men stare. Men howl. Men think they are less capable. Men objectify. Men don’t take them as seriously. If men know they like women (as gays or bis), they go homophobic and-or overstep their boundaries even further and try to them what they are “missing out on”.
Yes, despite all the laws and gains in place that protect me, I know often they will dismiss me over because of homophobia, sexism, genderism, and other forms of heteronormativity. I will be heading into a field dominated heavily still by men (STEM fields as a computer programmer, web developer, and network specialist), and unless I play the field and the traditional frat culture, I could also be passed on for that. However, I have a progressive male POV on many things, and often align myself with men culturally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
Kade, stop sulking. You make us look bad with how you write. We are better off than our femme and straight female counterparts culturally, emotionally, vocationally. It’s never been a better time to be masculine-of-center.