I know there is much confusion around our neck of the GLBT community, as we are far fewer in number, and have many issues unique to us, that our cisgender GLB siblings may or will never have to worry about. (Okay, maybe if your butch, they sometimes share in the issues we trans men face. ) One of these is, What do I get for someone who is trans?

First, how does the person identify: male, female, genderqueer, nonbinary, agender? How do they dress? What are their interests? Are they into what’s traditionally marketed to cisgender members of their gender identity? Are they still gender-variant?

In all honesty, here is what you do. Ask the person what they would like for Christmas. If you are like me, and you are invited to a secret Santa party and they are the person you are picking for, look at their social media profiles. Maybe they have a blog. Ask coworkers who are close to them, who have known them the longest. For me, if the person is reading this blog, I’m a very simple guy: I like coffee, movies, gag gifts, clothes (medium shirts, 34×29 or 34×30 pants, size 7.5DD men’s shoes)…and believe it or not, I don’t mind getting toiletries and the very basics for gifts.

Even cis people are less and less upholding to gender definitions these days–men like getting manis and pedis, women like getting tech toys, even men’s clothing because it’s often more flexible and comfortable to wear.

Honestly, it’s not that hard.

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