Ever hear of being neutrois? According to Micah from Neutrois.com:

There is no one definition on Neutrois, since each person that self-identifies as such experiences their gender differently. The most commonly used definitions are [neutral-gender, null-gender, neither male nor female, genderless, agender …]

Neutrois is understood as a non-binary gender identity that falls under the genderqueer and/or transgender umbrellas.

What is Neutrois?

Long before I underwent a sex change, I identified as agender, as I didn’t know how to feel about living as a man. I only knew I didn’t identify as a woman, feeling uncomfortable with having breasts and gynecological reproductive organs. I was 4 years out of the most toxic point in my life, still trying to figure myself out while raising a kid, working, going to college.

Circa 2013. I will identify somewhere between “stone butch” and agender for about 4-5 years before undergoing sex reassignment therapy.

I wasn’t cissexual, but I couldn’t quite identify as transsexual often, either. The whole concepts of sex and gender were quite foreign to me at this point, to the point I wondered why people put so much stock into it, why it was even needed, that I took it as a social construct farther than many would conceive.Was I non-binary? That’s still an argument among agender individuals.

Testosterone changed all that for me. Within days of my first shot in 2015, I finally could feel that masculine energy clearly. It was cathartic. It was liberating. As much as I also felt asexual up to that point, feeling both a libido and a physical sexual attraction for the first time also finally felt like a hole was filled.

I’m not a “transmasculine”, “agender”, “gynephilic” individual who uses male pronouns. I am a man who happens to be transsexual, because that’s what I am. Take your time as you figure out whether you are transsexual; find a therapist, jot down in a journal, imagine things, check if a name resonates with you by having the barista at your local Starbucks call it out. As much as we want to rush this, it’s healthier to slow down and figure it all out, under the guidance of a gender specialist.

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