• While I know some make the distinction between agender and neutrois as a label, I don’t. I’ll probably flip between the two, though most likely will just call myself ”agender”, as few people seem to figure […]

    • I had a partner years ago whom I managed to somehow convince they were genderfluid. Had a discussion with one of their professors about this and related topics, and was very convinced that gender is an essential, rather than contingent, aspect of most peoople’s beings. Other people I have had similar discussions with said how they are very much men, women, masculine, feminine, some mix of the two, something completely different … the more I would have these discussions, I just like it didn’t apply to me. I kept telling myself, “Yes, I’m a guy” even to myself as the conservatives around me said I was “overthinking gender”, despite cisgender people arguing for gender-specific places like washrooms, girls-night-out, and “Saturday is for the boys”—I sense some hypocrisy here?

      I know we want nights out catered to groups whom we belong to, but basing it on phenotypes because our culture still too often overemphasizes a few ounces/grams of DNA and organ meat is, meh. But if someone wants one, I am not going to argue who they should or shouldn’t include, as just because I can’t sense this thing called “gender” within me, doesn’t mean I don’t deny its existence. I just wouldn’t agree on a “woman-born-women” asterisk, like what MichFest used to do, especially if my fellow trans siblings who are more masculine-aligned still think they were entitled to join—can’t have it both ways, saying you identify as masculine or male, but still think you can enter a women’s-only event. Too many trans sisters trying to fight for entry, and here are these bois trying to play all angles of the game. No bueno.

      The “error 404: error not found” is not an idea of my own creation. It’s something I saw while looking up non-binary and agender items to purchase to show off my newfound pride (none of which will come in before “Queers and Beers” this weekend, a monthly thing that happens where I live). Didn’t get a hoodie or anything yet, but I also love that it’s computer-based humor, given my history as a compsci major. 😆

  • One of the unpardonable sins, in the eyes of most people, is for [people] to go about unlabeled. The world regards such a person as the police do an unmuzzled dog, not under proper control.—T.H. Huxley (via S […]

  • It’s been a month since moving to Missoula. How have things been going?

    Well, for starters … since trying to change my number to reflect my move, I elected to get one that definitely reeks of Jersey, ins […]

  • No, this isn’t another post about my dealings with conversion therapy. ”Losing my religion” is an old Southern phrase meaning to go batshit crazy. In this case, shedding more prior notions I’ve had.

    In the las […]

  • I definitely gambled what I shouldn’t have—while I could gamble on getting a new job (I had the savings), my housing definitely not something I really should have.

    My life has gotten so toxic, to the poi […]

  • Charles wrote a new post, Reflections 3 months ago

    Today marks one year since I fixed my name change. In that past year … so much has changed, yet so much remains the same.

    It didn’t matter that the COVID pandemic slowed things down compared to the first […]

  • Two days ago I couldn’t reissue my passport after getting my renewed diploma and car title because the goddamn county clerk wasn’t taking appointments, “because of COVID”. (Numbers have been dropping a lot over […]

  • It took me fourteen years to get a general liberal arts, associates degree.

    It took me three years to get it reissued with my name.

    To see my name as Charles Nicholas Copley on something so important adds […]

  • Latino, Latina, LatinxWords spewed around for kicksAlready hard to live when you’re a mixYour identity, the subject of politicsNow your language, challenged with conflictsFrom both progressive pricks and hardline […]

    • Depends on the circles one runs in. I know many Latinos from abroad; they think it’s white LGBTQ folks pushing an artificial construct upon them, and wish to still be called latino/latina. But I also know others who like and use the term latinx. It’s like with word “queer”; not everyone in the LGBTQ community uses, or even likes, it. Communities that have long never intermingled, we now have ideologies colliding. Who is right … maybe everybody, maybe nobody. It’s personal identity and group identity intersecting.

      Even the highly regarded Royal Spanish Academy—who is by no means the final authority on the Spanish language in most of Hispanophonic world, but its influence is highly respected—decries the use of latinx, but they are becoming more inclusive of more gender-neutral, inclusive terms like elle.

      Just like how I don’t care for conservatives still trying to call me “female” (being born AFAB), it wouldn’t be right to call someone latinx if they prefer to still be called latino/latina.

  • I’ve used both Android and iOS. I think both OSes have their pros, their cons, and fanbois who need to get a life.

    Via Apple

    I tried watching this year’s WWDC conference, and I got some thoughts:

    Yes, […]

  • Charles wrote a new post, Not a Vlogger 5 months ago

    I get it; YouTube is essentially a social media platform as much as a video-hosting platform. It’s essential for the livelihoods of “influencers” and “content creators”. Because video is not natively formatted […]

    • Depending on the niche and the author, sometimes I find blogs more interactive and without the trolls and flame wars YouTube is known for. But smaller YouTubers (and Twitch streamers) with dedicated followings I find to be so much more engaging as well, of which two I follow and are interactive and without almost any kind of negativity. I wish I had the persona and skills to vlog, wish I started when YT was still in its early years, but was has happened has passed. Maybe if I at least kept the same blog since the early 00s, I could have a bigger, more engaged following?

      So many what ifs.

  • I’m not “color-blind”. I get it, that the color of our skin influences our lives.

    I mean, look at what’s happening with the Golden Globes.

    A fun story I love to tell: years ago, when I was still working […]

  • I joined Discord back in November, 2020. I am active in two servers, lurk in two others, and joined one to play Among Us with friends.

    I could be like many other bloggers, vloggers, streamers, and other […]

  • Charles started the topic in the forum 👥 Community 5 months, 4 weeks ago

    Are you posting video blogs on the daily? Especially with VEDA (Vlogging Every Day in April/August? Let us know! While many users will use YouTube, I encourage the use of whichever video service you choose; just make sure you are able to publish it here!

  • Seven years ago today, it took watching a series—about a decade after its debut and closure—about gay people to realize I wasn’t gay, I wasn’t a ”transmasculine, agender individual” … I was a trans man.

    T […]

  • Ever hear of being neutrois? According to Micah from

    There is no one definition on Neutrois, since each person that self-identifies as such experiences their gender differently. The most […]

  • Remember when I spent almost $3,000 to get this blog’s current domain?

    I have gone by many names (preferred and legal) over the years, at great social, legal, and financial cost. Every time, I always a domain […]

  • My blog used to be hosted on, but I have since started hosting myself. If I paid $3k for a domain, why not self-host as well?

    Same address, same blog. Just choosing to run it myself.

    I have […]

  • As you might have guessed if you visited within the last several days, my domain has slightly changed. Instead of as or, it’s now (Don’t worry, my old […]

  • Charles wrote a new post, Hi, Speed! 10 months ago

    After my disaster with Android, I got back into iOS as cheaply as possible. Slowly during that time, I upgraded to the AirPods Pro and Apple Watch series 5, updated my iPad, and now finally switched up my iPhone […]

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