Your body, your choice.

A funny thing happened today. Some random kid I’m interacting with thinks I’m “not a man” for lacking a dick. As soon as I tried to use science, he didn’t want to hear it. So, I turned around and told him, ask anyone around us, and they would confirm I was a man, if not at least by my looks by my maturity and work ethic. I further ruined his pride and emasculinated him when I called him a “boy” for his poor demeanor and laziness. That shut him up.

I used to be an asshole, that to legally identify with your gender identity, you had to get bottom surgery. I made an exception for myself because I can’t qualify for meta surgery, and phalloplasty is way too risky, if not imperfect.

That chat with Plume earlier this month woke me up. Not everyone can afford it. Some of us have medical contraindications that prevent us. Some of us are young, wards/conservatees, live in other legal arrangements where the legal guardian or custodian may not allow us to. The biggest one is, some of us undergo some surgeries, but not others, for whatever reason(s).

If you are a binary trans man or woman, and you need help passing but haven’t gotten hormone therapy or medical procedures done, altering your hair and presentation to match that typically associated with your gender identity help. Finding free vocal lessons on YouTube can help raise or lower your pitch and register to sound more authentic when audio cues matter (like on the phone), if your voice gives you a problem. If you’re non-binary, this is where you will have to find your own tips—I am not non-binary, so I don’t know what tips to offer, but any comments below can help others!

I got a mastectomy and hysterectomy, both which easily are covered by any comprehensive (major medical) health insurance plan; you just need to find a gynecologist willing to work with you to submit the paperwork to the insurance company to get them paid for. (However, chest masculinization may not be covered if they exclude trans-related coverage.)

I don’t feel any less of a man, transgender or not, because I don’t have a penis—I see it as akin to the Greeks always showing their men in artwork with small dicks, as a sign of virility. My “double dose of Napoleon syndrome” encourages me to step up the challenge when people question my manhood, and while I should never have to prove myself, I always make the cisgender man who doesn’t take my manhood seriously look like a fool in front of our audience.

Feminism introduced us to the concept of bodily autonomy. We should extend that to the trans community—your body, your choice. You are no less trans, a member of your gender identity, nor less of a human being if you don’t or can’t get things done. What matters is feeling healthy, and being happy in your own skin. As for any guy who challenges me for not having a penis, I always quote Betty White: “Balls are such fragile things. A pussy can take a pounding.” 😂

Author: Charles Copley

I am a trans man (FtM) living in small-town, NJ. A phandroid, I've worked hard to sync all my devices together. I’m probably drinking way too much coffee, often with Irish cream. My Devils have left me in limbo about watching hockey anymore. I am agnostic and apatheistic—I don’t know what’s out there, I don’t care—but I love learning about other religions that differ from what I grew up around. My online presence doesn’t document my transition—they’re documenting my life (and thoughts) after having transitioned years ago. I missed the vlogging and life documentation craze of the 10s, due to depression and a hard life in my 20s, but now I’m playing catch up with what seems to be my upteenth time at starting a blog. It’s a hobby, not my source of income or passion, but that doesn’t mean I may try to profit in the future.

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